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Thursday, May 21, 2009
Why did I do this to myself? I have gotten so angry with myself, and cried so many tears over this after leaving the emergency room to get a breathing treatment. I started piddling with smoking at the age of 15 at slumber parties just because us girls wanted to do something we were not suppose to be doing. Then I would steal my stepdad's Winstons out of the kitchen drawer. The next thing you know I was buying them myself for 28 cents a pack from a little store my best friends dad owned and she would get them for me! This was before there were any laws/knowledge concerning age or health or welfare of the recipient. How sad it has taken so many lives to establish some basic rules/knowledge and studies to show and prove the intense addiction/damage nicotine has on the human mind and body.

I am a smoker of 38 years now. I quit on lozenges and gum for 18 months. When the NRT cost got higher than my cigarette cost I quit using it and started through withdrawal and started smoking again. I am also a healthcare provider (surgical nurse 35 years). Sad to say, I have helped remove many cancerous lungs, larynxes, tongues, esophagus you name it, and repaired many hearts only to find myself hardly being able to wait until I could get a break to run for my cigarettes. Nothing I saw made me stop or want to stop again. I never thought I could quit cold turkey. I was so terrified to try.

I have been trying to just get a breath the past few months. It has gotten to where I can no longer work. I almost suffocate just to go 20 foot and back to restroom in the morning. I have to immediately get on my nebulizer just to get some sort of air down before I become lifeless. How stupid is this? Why can't I quit!

Well, I have decided that I want to live! I want to see my grandchildren graduate from High School. There is so much I want to do but have never tried because I knew I would not have the air for it. I contemplated my quit for over 6 weeks. I finally got a strong desire to do it. I am determined to make it. I knew for me I could not have any nicotine of any kind around me or I would fail. I am so glad to have found this site. I found it by typing in cold turkey.

It has helped me get through some really rough times. Even though I have read here that nicotine is out of the system in 72 hours, I still have strong craves and seem at times to obsess on a smoke. I have my days and nights all mixed up on sleep. I am 20 pounds overweight but after reading here decided I will tackle that at a later date.

Thank you all for your many posts and John and Joel for giving so freely of your knowledge to help people like me!

Never take another puff!

Ann

May 11^th 2009 3:30 a.m. nicotine cold turkey quit date

Free and Healing for Ten Days, 16 Hours and 22 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 11 Hours, by avoiding the use of 427 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $123.97.